SEND MY MUSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING! (PARENTING MEME)

notpartoftheplan:

frommemetoyou:

  • “Now that they’re asleep we can have some quiet time.”
  • “The baby won’t stop crying.”
  • “No no, I’m pretty sure his/her first word was dad.”
  • “Are you kidding me? There first word was mum.”
  • “I didn’t spend 9 hours in labour for you to get out of making dinner just because you have a headache!”
  • “Don’t forget to pick the kids up from school!”
  • “I’m off to the shops, make sure the children don’t break anything while I’m gone.”
  • “Can’t we just get a babysitter and rent a hotel for the night?”
  • “We need to talk, I think (insert name) is having trouble at school…”
  • “I’m warning you, it’s her first break up, if you go in their without a tub of icecream it’s your fault if you don’t make it out alive.”
  • “Can you feel it kicking?”
  • “They’re so sweet when they’re asleep.”
  • “They take after you with that temper.”
  • “Please tell me you didn’t tell him/her it was okay to hit the other children?”
  • “It’s okay, we’re in A&E because he/she jumped off the climbing frame. He/She’s got a sprained ankle by the doctor said it’s fine.”
  • “Well what did you think was going to happen if you let her/him watch scary films before bed?”
  • “She/He’s going to be taller than you in a few years.”
  • “Sometime’s it’s scary how much you two look alike.”
  • “It’s okay, I made a deal. No sweets until the house is spotless.”
  • “I don’t know if I’m proud that they listened to us and didn’t throw a house party whilst we were gone, or worried that they didn’t something much worse.”
  • “Your child thought it was a good idea to graffiti the side of the house.”
  • “We need to figure out what’s the secret present he/she asked santa for…”
  • “Those use to be my boobies…”
  • “She said I’m the worst mother ever.”
  • “He said he hates me.”
  • “You’d think that all these years raising kids with each other would make us a little more mature…”
  • “If they break curfew again we’re just going to have to embarrass them.”
  • “Talk to her/him. She/He’ll listen to you.”
  • “I love you more and more everyday, and I’ll even treat you if you take the 4am feeding shift.”